Ignoring messages but still scrolling through reels and binging movies all day long. Although the phone rings endlessly , it takes a lot of energy to pick up. It does not take a lifetime to reply to all those three texts on my almost extinct phone but…
It’s draining, thinking about what to say to keep my energy from lying and betraying my aura. Mentally, physically, emotionally and all kinds of exhausted is what we feel. Talking about, “I am here. Talk to me. Why won’t you let me in?”
Thank you, I am awed by your persistence. I am trying to conserve the little energy I have to stay afloat in this storm. Swimming has never been my thing I prefer staying cute and watching the waves lap at the sand. The sun in my face and the breeze threatening to tear my flimsy bikini apart. I like it easy as my ABC’s with a mocktail in hand.
Bright orange like a fire engulfing the savannah,
Be the calming blue sea that renders my knees weak,
Fiery red enigma, take my world and make it yours,
Yellow that’s mellow let’s enjoy the evening breeze,
Take a walk with me my brown skin,
For there’s nothing I’d love more than being the ball of energy you need.
Yet, I want to make memories. I want to tell my friends’ I love them. Taking pictures with the ones who make each day worthwhile would be fulfilling. Listening to favorite songs with my favorites. I want to feel with the ones who make me feel alive. Suffering no more loss. I want to gain. Gain laughter. Gain memories that will outlive me. Yet here I am, barely able to string together a sentence, ‘Hey love I don’t have the energy to be a friend today. Bear with me.’