ADAM’S EVE

The front door opened with a bang and light foosteps could be heard running up the stairs. One of his kids had a bad day and he wasn’t about to coax the dragon awake. They would have to wait for their mother, the dragon slayer. He carried on watching his NBA game unperturbed, having three teenage children and two preteens does that to your tolerance levels. They should have spaced those kids more but he loved them all anyway.

Honey, I am home?

The sweetest of fragrances, the lily of the valley, the most gentle touch, the voice that calms the storm in the mostly chaotic house that was his, she was here.

I missed you sweetpea. How was work today? Do you need any help with the groceries?

Who is throwing a tantrum today? David, I know you well enough. Spill it.

Being together for 27 years does that to you. You cannot slip past that watchful eye of hers, maybe that explains why you love her so much.

I think that was Charlotte. She has not come out of her room even when the boys made her peppermint tea.

Should be the Niagra falls week for her. Let me check on her.

She made her way to her only daughter’s room armed with supplies a hot water bottle , snacks and pain relievers. She found her fast asleep with her arms wrapped around her fluffy bear. The room looked neat, thank goodness. The boys’ rooms gave her an acute headache and often times she had to unplug the play station to get the rooms habitable. She put the supplies down and that’s when she found the letter.

Dear Eve,

I am talking to you, the first female creation you know. You who belongs to Adam or is it Adam that belongs to you? I care less about the arrangement you guys had. Am I rude? I am so sorry for my unsolicited sarcasm creation of the earth!

Don’t ask me to calm down or to hold my horses. I held them long enough until I got a taste of the famous period pains. Couldn’t you have just bargained for something easier to save us all womankind?

Trust me you better have Goliath and Samson as your body guards because I am baying for your blood. You could have used your charms to get a lighter punishment or something. I can barely stay still and the pain is cutting through my whole being.

Tomorrow, I am needed to go to school and act normal as if my uterus is not being turned inside out. I cannot call in sick because many of your descendants do not believe that period cramps can be utterly incapacitating. Look at you making me use words reserved for my literature class.

You also included the extra toppings like we were your favorite pizza. The nausea, bloating, acne after struggling to get that clear skin, swollen feet, cravings, the running stomach and you didn’t stop there. Did you do a hair flip to get the mood swings as a special pizza on the house?

Eve, creation’s first ,did you have Adam rubbing your back telling you it will be alright? I am sorry lady but some of us do not have that priviledge and struggle on our own. Eve, were yours bad at first. How did you handle them? Adam’s Eve should we blame the snake or you for our woes? The pain is unbearable; I need to get some rest. We’ll square this out when we meet.

Charlotte.

P.S I will not sign out nicely, I do not like you at the moment.

She was suppressing a laugh when she finished reading the letter but concurred with her 17 year old. Eve had a lot to answer and her responses were eagerly awaited by many. She left to share the story with her husband and probably get in a few good laughs for the night.