Butterfly Fly

I should have left your name in the pages of my diary because then I would still be sane. I am not saying you drive me crazy but I am sure I  knock a few nuts loose in your system. I am not easy to love that is what my mind tells my heart. I don’t know maybe you could change that but I am scared. Scared that I might be the only one swimming upstream.

I replayed the feel of your lips on mine and blushed redder than a berry ripe for picking.  All this feels foreign like fish on land. I don’t know how to act, I forget how to breathe in a way that I am gasping for air every single time. I need a doctor, my heart is beating harder than it ever did. I am sweating gallons in here.

I wish I had the honesty of a five year old maybe then I’d freely share my mind with you. How do I explain all this without feeling like a fool? I never understood how this would come by. Forgive my blutter, there’s a lot of clutter in my head and nonsense on my lips. Shut me up please in the way only you can.

You take me around  the world whenever you speak. Tell me if I am good enough, look at me seeking validation again, pitiable I know. Could you indulge me on level ground please? Eye to eye with gazes that don’t falter. Our lips could even meet as the anger, desire and all animal instinct simmer at our tips.

You could tell me why you hate what I say. You could show me what I need.  You could be the strength I need. I don’t want to push you away. It’s my head, my thoughts are screaming bloody murder. My heart wants you.

Butterfly fly before you drown in the darkness of the garden. Stay where the sun shines upon the flowers and the air smells like a dash of heaven on earth. Maybe you could choose to stay and light this world of mine up because that would cure it all.  If you leave my life would fall apart.