Twisted Empress

HOLES

Legs propped, my favorite hot chocolate mug by my side and a thriller that’s making my heart race. Perfect coziness but there’s a void; deep and dark devoid of hope brimming with misery. I am willing to admit, I am miserable down to my tippy toes. This is the part where sad music plays, sad music for sad days. The dessert to an incredible meal: my guilt.

An apology dances at the tip of my tongue, cha-cha real smooth. I bet you know every line, the “I am sorry,I didn’t mean it” with a sprinkle of “I am learning”. You might think it’s scripted, ‘Sorry:The play’ now available on all streaming platforms. Hooray! Get the popcorn, salted for them and a caramel for me. Oh bumblebee! This was supposed to be short, it’s 1 am I can’t sleep.

I probably got your order wrong because for the life of me my memory barely serves me right. Speaking of rights, I have no right whatsoever to choose what someone feels or how they feel it. Just because I might not want them feeling a certain way doesn’t mean I call the shots. I could repaint The Monalisa but it still won’t be DaVinci’s work.

In need of a glass of water real quick,this pill is too bitter for me to swallow. I can weave words, that’s my gift, my solace and my comfort. I can escape, fly away to neverland and live like Peter Pan. I can because I am a free spirit but the price to be paid is dear and I am classy, boujee with a side of broqúe. I doubt my sobriety and maybe my intentions have been lost in this translation. This conversion of my heart to words; it has always been a tricky situation.

Where were we? This train has been having a slow climb but isn’t slow steady? It feels like an auction, on sale is my worthiness to you and myself. First bidder raises his placard; it barely comes close to the value you hold on to. I gave up maybe I want you to do that too. Will you? Will you call it a day with the storms constantly brewing in my wake? You can only stand for a while even when still anchored. These winds are unforgiving yet here you are still battered and bruised placating the weather. How long will you hold? That’s my greatest fear.