I is for Insane

Ian if I call out your name again I swear your behind will be redder than grandma’s tomatoes!

Sometimes I wonder if I sold this child I’d have my life back. It’s wishful thinking but did I have to give birth to this cannon ball of a human? It’s  11 am and I am exhausted, barely done any work and my boss requires a report within half an hour. Welcome to the life of a working mother with an overactive son.

No you cannot go outside! Get rid of that puppy face, you will not win me over. I gave birth to you and you cannot make me dance to your tune.

Ian, a four year old boy with the energy of ten -two year old kids. This quarantine will leave me voiceless with all this shouting. A week ago, I had the windows reinforced because my young king decided to be George of the jungle. A month prior, the gas cylinder had a special cabinet built for it. The Dora in him led him to explore the cooker controls. All the cabinets are raised from his reach and double locked after he broke my great grandmother’s crockery.  That crockery is probably the reason why the boy’s father left to work overseas. Honey if you read this I still love you.

Ian! Ian! IIIIIaaaaannnn! Why are you wearing my bras?

This incident gave birth to a wardrobe refurbishing, the under wears found a new home in the top shelves. Every year comes with a whole new unprecedented house design because my baby boy has a way of finding faults with the initial architectural work.  I should probably thank quarantine a little because my car will rest even for a little while. The dents my mechanic has concealed with his amazing hands are uncountable I should know. The invoices from my mechanic have a special gallery where they are displayed for future referencing when my dear young one will have his car.  Brian, my mechanic ,has a lovely wife Hadassah and  three cute children, Mike, Essie and Melissa. I learnt this  because of my boy’s escapades with my car when he learnt how to ride his bike and throw things at it. Visits to my mechanic were filled with anecdotes about his own troublesome three.

MOMMY! MUM! TINA!

That is my child calling me by my government name. Am I mad? No. He is. I am laughing because he is getting a taste of his own medicine. He is only four Tina just listen. Sometimes I like frustrating him but at the end of the day my champ is my best gift.  This is a game that helps me calm down whenever I go on a rampage after my patience runs thin. Then again this is one munchkin and my love and I planned on having three more. I think we should reconsider the decision but then again…

MUUUUUMMMMM! MOMMY. TIIIINAAA.

I think I should go now, my boy needs me.

What’s wrong baby?

Mommy I love you.

All the anger and frustration disappears. My baby boy lies in my arms and I feel complete. Miss Rona, stay away from my boy! I warn you.  He is my precious heartbeat.

In the meantime, ladies and gentlemen, keep your distance, wash your hands and sanitize but most of all stay at home.