MAYBE

If by chance maybe I leave on wings that do not get clipped, I hope you know I have been trying. I tried to be strong and brave in a world that caused me so much pain. I fought for life, love and acceptance. So maybe I gave up it wasn’t because I was weak, my strength it dipped, dried out like the waters in this unbearable heat.
This fire consuming me, these words ringing in my head. “All you ever do is ask for things, you never think of me.” Think of you? My whole existence is based on treading carefully. Denying my life to bloom so it doesn’t crowd your style. Living in the confines of maybe I can never be perfect for you no matter how hard I try.
Let these walls talk, maybe they can let you see how troubled my soul is. Goddamn! I am sailing a boat and I cannot swim for the life of Mary. Bloody hell! Condemned to a prison of self-doubt not only by my thoughts but the ones around me. Am I such a burden tell me? A mistake you wish you never made? Tell me please, I am losing the last whiff of sanity, barely holding on to this ledge.
Warped, maybe that’s how my world has always be since all my joy is being cut short so tragically. My story is probably cursed from the beginning and I am out here willing for some silver lining. Moments I cherish keep me going but this time, my hero has been dead buried six feet under like the hope I carry no more.
Don’t tell me maybe I have it better, still doesn’t make the burden lighter. The cross I carry cannot be shared, who will be believing the scars hidden beneath? Should I cling onto some color or let despair be my pattern?