Hey 25 year old me,
You are staring at the mirror again hoping for a thinner waist, bigger hips that after sometime you just want them to disappear. You are counting the number of pimples that have invaded your face stretching out from the Horn of Africa to the Arctic ocean. You hate that crooked tooth rearing its ugly self every time you smile.
I know how you wish you could mold yourself to the perfection you think you need. It’s a struggle I know too well. Eating because someone said you look like those orphans in Africa (which is so untrue),starving because another said you cannot fit through a door. You’re still at the mirror finding fault with everything,the frizzy hair,the small lips and even smaller nose. Why me?
Sometimes you pray you had a stack of money somewhere, go under the knife and plasticize yourself. Plastics last forever, is not that the case? You want beauty that doesn’t fade away.
Hey, I know how it feels to wake up in the morning with eyes that are swollen from the salty rivers of last night’s tears. I know the fear of being inadequate, far from perfect and an outcast.
The stares, hushed whispers that carpet the ground before you and guard your back faithfully. Contorted half truths and blatant lies peddled by strangers just because they see you as they please.
Hey, I know loss, losing the ones you gave your all too just because they moved up the social hierarchy. Those who leave because they no longer have use for you, like tissue paper down the drain.
How could I forgotten, the forehead that looks like the perfect canvas for a detailed world map. You hate it,don’t you? The sneer tells it all. The memes an the jokes don’t help your case at all.
Hush now, close your eyes. Take a deep breath and slowly exhale. GIGO. Look in the mirror, that’s a beautiful girl staring back at you. Created, molded and crafted in the most intrinsic and mind blowing ways. You’re beauty deserves accolades and ballads that will forever be sang.
I wish you could embrace the flaws and imperfections that make you human. Set your own bars according to the heights you could reach. You are loved,cherished and adored. I hope you find peace,joy and contentment.
You are beautiful, gorgeous and all you can ever be. Love yourself the flesh and fat, the muscle and bone. Hey, you deserve the whole world and much more?.
19 year old you.