My life is brilliant. My life is pure. I saw an angel of that I’m sure. Well I definitely felt some rising in my chest and a bubble burst in my heart. I felt some joy spreading and my lips tugged into an involuntary smile. I can’t help but be glad. My reason stands before my eyes. The battles we’ve fought and the fires we started to get out unscathed and stronger. I could have lost my sanity and everything I held close.
I was scared that my darkness would swallow the only light that came my way when all around me was a brewing storm. I hated the cold, the ice that made a home in my soul and drowned everything that was good. I cried every night and tattooed my heart with the feelings I couldn’t bring out. My wrists bore the beauty of my soul. My canvas was running out and I found a clean slate that bore the art,my stomach. My art was not to be exhibited in any gallery, it was a hidden gem that only I could view.
They always saw me smiling and my act should have won a Golden Globe award. I was perfect, I cracked jokes and laughed at them for they didn’t know each happy sound sunk daggers deeper into my heart. I was bleeding inside. A lost soul. A wandering spirit.
I always lost it at my door. The mask fell off and I crumbled like the heap of ash I was. He found me, seated by my sparkling white sink, holding my bleeding wrists. An ironic contrast, the pure white stained by screaming red. He wrapped his hands around my frame and carried me away from the sad place. Tended to my wounds in such a loving way that all that I always held back came out like a raging stream. I cried into his shirt, soaking him with my insecurities and fears.
He stayed, smoothed my hair and the aches in my body. He listened to my woes and healed my wounds. I finally felt some warmth in the dungeon that I had lived in. I was free, a bird flying through the trees. I knew what love felt like, care that was tender and nice. I could breathe without the bulge in my chest choking me. I could laugh without a care in the world.
His smile made me giddy, his touch made my breath hitch and his voice made my heart waver. Have I seen an angel? Actually I have the angel by my side through rain and shine. He isn’t Alexander the Great but he is my saving grace. He knocked my walls down and caught me before I fell. He was the antidote to my greatest sickness.